It is incredible the kind of strength you can have in yourself that you aren't aware of. I don't mean to sound self pitifull or anything or make this blog about that sort of stuff, but Last night I realized the glib conclusion that no matter what I have done so far in life I have always ended up alone. Don't get me wrong I still have my support system, my family for one who have supported me in more ways than one but I don't feel like I have too many friends that I can personally be around. Instant messaging has provided somewhat of a conduit to talk to people (as pathetic as that sounds) but its not reality. Despite it all there are a few things that never change, for one I always every night make a prayer before I go to sleep. Its the one thing I have to do before I go to bed. Another thing is that despite me being secretley miserable deep down, I am still optimistic about things and there's always something thats edging me on and I can't help but think that has something to do with my faith. I know I am not the most pious person, but its comforting to know that there is a higher power that guides us.